04: Bike Service

Is it attention deficit youth, or cranky old age that creates communication errors? Are we so picky and demanding that we confuse and traumatize the younger generation, or is their attention upon us so briefly that they have no idea what we said or wanted, except for a half remembered word and an assumption based on context?

I hate paying bike shops to do anything. I used to build bikes myself, but some jobs require tools and facilities that I do not have; like changing a free hub, for instance.

The Trek shop in South Tampa were supposed to do just that; install a new free hub in the rear wheel. Nothing else. Not look at it, not clean it, not inspect it – replace it. The old one wasn’t broken or even slipping, but it was 11 years old and I don’t want it to fail in the Mojave Desert or any of the three mountain ranges.

Maybe I could have avoided the impending confusion by taking only the wheel and leaving the rest of the bike at home; but I didn’t. In the shop, I also decided to get top mounted brake levers installed and ordered a frame pump and new Armadillo tires to take away and put on later.

One week after the promised date and without the courtesy of a phone call to advise that it was ready I went to collect it. John wheeled my bike out and I accumulated supplies.

Nice job on the brakes, but the wrong tires were draped over the handlebars, the pump had never been ordered and ‘install new free hub’ had morphed into ‘check bottom bracket’.

I’ve never subscribed to the ‘customer is always right’ concept because the customer can sometimes be a complete pig. I am usually polite and I am always precise so, if the person to whom I’m speaking gets distracted and doesn’t write down what I said, whose fault is it? Is his job to listen, or to allow his eyes to wander over anything and everything else that might be occurring in the shop?

I pointed out the problems but John stared, zombie-like, at another customer for almost a full minute before handing me the bill and a pen as if I’d said nothing worthy of interest.

My politeness slipped. It may not have, had they not kept me waiting for two weeks. It may not have, had John offered to get the job corrected immediately. It may not have, had he called the other store to see if the correct tires and pump were in stock. It might not have, if the bill hadn’t included $79 for unspecified parts and $25 for installation.

My politeness slipped further when he tried to pretend that the job had actually been done, but that the computer had reported it wrongly and that I should call back if I had any problems.

It disappeared altogether after he called the mechanic at home and discovered that no such work had been done but then turned back to me, smiling as though the problem was now solved. Free hubs weren’t a stock part, he said, and they hadn’t wanted to take extra time by ordering one. So they’d done me a favor?

My voice rose. I paid for the brakes but nothing else. Cancel the tires, cancel the pump, delete the erroneous bottom bracket entry and take back all the merchandise and then added gruffly - loudly enough for other customers to hear - that I would never be back and was going down the street to Flying Fish bikes.

Should I have doffed my cap and slithered away, perhaps to grumble with close friends and repeat this tale of misadventure as prime conversational material for the next 20 years? I am English, after all…

I thought not.

So – if you’re in South Tampa and need bicycle service, you know where not to go.

And what if you happen to be from the Trek shop in South Tampa and feel that this account has unfairly caused you to lose customers?

Sue me.